Thursday, March 20, 2008

It is near, right at the door...

Spent the whole day today in Nairobi between government ministry offices and picking the lock on my car 'cause I forgot the keys inside and locked it. I felt so stupid with all those people watching me break into my own car in the parking lot. Kept smiling so big so they'd know that I'm not a thief or something. Anyway, you can stop laughing at me now.

I'm 21 years old and I've worked with ADRA at different levels in Africa and in Aisa for about 3 years now. My first volunteer experience with ADRA was in Tanzania. I was 17 years old then. It was fun but challenging at the same time. If you do the math you'll realize that I'm not yet out of college. I studied for a year in Thailand at Mission College. I was studying theology then and I was so sure that God wanted me there. After the end of my first year I was really confused about being a pastor or a Bible teacher. I think my emotions and my reasoning got all mixed up together and I needed to see what God wanted from me. The way I hear/see God's leading in my life is simply by praying about it and trying various things. If something doesn't work out then I take it as God not wanting me to go that way. Alright, let's make the long story short. I ended up working with ADRA in Vietnam, Thailand (both the ADRA Thailand office, and ADRA Asia office), ADRA Sri Lanka, and ADRA Africa after that. Through all those experiences I God helped me to develop skills, abilities, attend training programs, and see/meet people that have had a permanent impact on my life. I've come to see the world as one. God's world. even if Satan has made us think so often that he is in charge, when I look back on the says when I was most discouraged, I see that God was in charge. You see, it's like stretching out your hand and calling out to God. You think in your mind that he doesn't hear you. That he's not reaching out to hold your hand. You curl up and sleep. Your eyes are filled with tears. You think that God isn't there when in reality he's just too big for you. As you wake up the next day. You realize that you spent the night in the palms of the Almighty. In a nutshell that's my experience with ADRA. There are so many stories that I could type until the keys on my laptop all fade away.

When it comes to education right now. I'm thinking would it be better to study business administration where I can learn more about management, administration, and finance since I've already gathered a lot of experience on the development/emergency management aspects of the work I want to go into? I'm praying about it. Probably not as much as I should. I'm sure it'll all make sense some day, as long as I stay in His palms.

About Kenya. Peace and stability have returned. At least that's what it looks like right now. There's still a lot of hatred and bitterness - especially in the hearts of those that were affected. While helping out, I often felt helpless at the overwhelming damage that was caused. Decades of development and psycho-social support will be needed around this country. What makes more sad though is that now that tranquility has returned to the country, many of those who were not directly affected by the conflict have moved on. Politicians are working on how they can best secure their interests. A seat in parliament, a cabinet post, pushing for policies that would favor the political party of their affiliation. Most of us have forgotten that there are still people hurting. People picking up the shattered fragments of thier lives and asking what's next? It's easy to reconstruct a damaged building. It takes a lot more to restore a life. So I pray that God will make me a partner in the restoration process. I would be thrilled to be used by Him. There are forecasts of food shortages and significant price increase for food items in most regions of the country. We are already experiencing some of this, not to mention that fuel prices have also soared up, making production costs for business to go high and snuffling the life out of small businesses. This situation in itself could be/is a security threat for the overall stability of the country. But we hope that things will get better.

There are signs all around us that "...it is near, right at the door". I just wish that I had more strength and determination to get up and do what I know I should be doing to be ready for that time. And before that time, to be the kind of person I need to be to show the world that God is still God. He is in control no matter what circumstances may be.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL..I was wondering why all of this sounded so familiar...haha

Mariposa said...

"I'm 21 years old and I've worked with ADRA at different levels in Africa and in Aisa for about 3 years now."

Real Nice..love the typo hahahaha =P

-Jan

SunSeT said...

You are right, God is using you. I could not understand before but now it starts to make sense. All those that has happened. Reading your story is like reading the story of Joseph. Properly it sounds the same to everyone else, cause there are things that will only make sense when we reach certain point of time. I am glad that you ha developed such great love for the Lord! Pray for me as I continue to work on mine :) Help me to discover too! Take care and all the best to your education decision :)

Evan said...

Espy, take courage just like you said God is in control and He will help you figure out what special project he has waiting for you.

Anonymous said...

hey Espy,
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now it's:
http://cotysmiles.blogspot.com/
so go check it out :)

phat said...

I like the part of your feelings being mixed up with your reasoning and at some point you ain't sure which way to go in career life.I guess am at that point.And the healing process,i love rain and am so happy it is raining.But it hit me yesterday,that as i rejoice about it there are people who are spending cold,wet,hungry nights in the cold.Have you ever gone camping in rainy weather?and the tents that you have are summer tents,and then all your clothes and beddings are wet,and its only the first night of camp!!!!!!!For them its beenhome for several months now,they were working an earning a decent living but they have been reduced to beggers.And nothing pains more that having to beg for that which you have power to earn.Whats worse,what am i doing about it?Is prayer all that i can offer from the comfort of my warm bed?Where do i even start?