Sayin' Goodbye

Leaving but not letting go and still believing that we’ll meet again. Even though the odds are against us, we wait, we trust, we hope. What tomorrow holds we’ll never know. But with each day comes a glimpse of tomorrow – an opportunity to shape tomorrow. With every separation I leave a part of me. All that remains are thoughts and memories of those we love and cherish. In those thoughts and memories lives a hope. A hope that you’ll meet again. A hope that even though we’re far from each other we can still care. The limitations that come with distance make it almost impossible to wipe out the tears that trickle down your face when times get rough.

Standing at the cross roads we wave goodbye. Heading into a future that reserves surprises beyond our wildest imaginations. Here I stand in that future. But hopefully this isn’t the end. For the course that I charted from the start is nothing compared to where I now stand. What’s next? I think hard and coin beautiful answers. But deep down inside I feel uncertain. I’m afraid. Sometimes I think I’ve stopped to believe. Do we leave because it’s God’s plan or is it simply destiny taking its course. The older I get the more question marks I get. The more I leave the more I feel numbed to this pain that once seemed unbearable. The more I leave the more I learn to love. To love beyond human limitations. To love and to give. To love and to sacrifice for people like me – members a family that was separated from ages past. Relatives of different skin and eye color. Brothers of different cultures. Sisters with brown, green, yellow, blue eyes, a mere reflection of years of pain, all tucked inside. Mothers and fathers that have all their lives struggled to meet their basic needs.

I leave and it hurts. But wherever I go, I meet family. People who like me have been scarred by the reality of sin. People who, like me, have experienced the pain of saying goodbye, often with no hope of ever meeting again. I also meet brothers, sisters, nephews and nieces, mothers and fathers, who have never experienced what it is to be loved or to love. Perhaps that is what You have called me to do. I don’t know for sure. Perhaps I will never know. But I leave and even though it often hurts, I continue to love. To give of myself. “…For it is in giving that we receive and in dying that we’re born to eternal life”