So many broken promises. My heart is filled with doubt and my guilt ways me down. What seemed to be finally getting together has gradually disintegrated itself. I sit in the middle of this mess. The mess I created. I shrug my shoulders and say “that’s life” but deep inside I know it could be better. It doesn’t have to be this way. What do I do without You. My heart tells me to move on but my mind knows full well that it’s impossible without you. I’m tired and weak so I sit here and wait. Waiting for something better to happen, waiting for somebody to come and carry me away. This is my life – an endless moment of weakness. Strength only appears to be superficial. Is it just me or are they all part of this masquerade. Gravity holds me back. All I want to do is break away, be free indeed. The pieces are all over the floor – shattered in million pieces, all out of reach. I’m too weak to get up and yet I know that I must. It is the only way out of this cycle of self-destruction. I want to believe. To believe that it could be better. To believe that You are there. Break me into your will – the crucible that makes sense of all these fragments. I can’t make sense of it all. Calling out for peace I surrender my understanding. Shedding my doubt and my shame I reach out for faith, faith like a child. I’m waiting to feel your touch… I long for your healing touch. Your presence is my heart’s desire.
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